12 December 2004
Where your gifts might be hidden:
- The top of the wardrobe.
- The cupboard under the stairs.
- The attic.
- In the blanket box.
- Under the sofa.
- Behind the sofa.
- Down the back of the sofa. Ooh! Biros.
- In that decorative pile of boxes that you never bother looking into.
- Behind the computer.
- At the back of airing cupboard.
- Bottom drawer of their chest of drawers. No, *under* the clothes. Alright, well, under the porn as well. Unless it is the porn. Did you ask for porn?
- Under the spare room bed.
- Behind the curtains in the spare room.
- In the spare room wardrobe.
- What do you mean you haven't got a spare room? Well, look in someone else's spare room then. No, don't ask them, that defeats the object.
- Behind the fake books on the bookshelf.
- Under the sink.
- In the shed.
- In the boot of the car.
- Under the tablecloths in the tablecloth cupboard. Whatever a tablecloth cupboard might be.
- The garage, behind the explosive stuff.
- In the laundry basket.
- In the pile of clothes waiting to be ironed.
- You don't do much around the house, do you?
- In the microwave.
- In the empty suitcases under the bed.
Now go and look.
Go on.
But if anyone asks, it Wasn't Me That Told You.
Got it?