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'Tis the Season

6 December 2003

Last Christmas, I gave her my heart, but the very next day, she gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'd like to give the bitch something cheaper. Suggestions?
Meg and Anna say:

  1. Liver - 45p/lb, local butcher
  2. Bob the Builder Pencil sharpener - 60p, WHSmith
  3. Chewing gum - 28p, most newsagents
  4. Nightlights - £1.75 for 50, Ikea
  5. Empty floppy discs - £5 for 20, Dixons
  6. Heart-shaped box - £2, Habitat
  7. Facial hair remover - £3.79, Boots
  8. Pocket sewing kit - 99p, local chemist
  9. The Guardian (Saturday) - £1, newsagents
  10. Custard tart - 45p, Greggs
  11. Bic biro - 12p, newsagents
  12. Hammersmith and Fulham Informer - Free through letterbox
  13. Ibuprofen caplets - £1.15 for 100, Boots
  14. Mirrored hairslides - £2 for 4, Claire's Accessories
  15. Big D Dry Roasted Peanuts - 54p, most pubs
  16. Wet Ones wipes - 45p (travel pack), John Menzies, Heathrow Airport
  17. Little Gem lettuce - 60p, Tescos
  18. Baked Beans - 3p-45, depending on brand, Supersave
  19. Feminine Scented Intimate Wipes - £2.49, Superdrug
  20. Wagamamas postcard - Free from Wagamamas
  21. Superdrug extra strength own brand Deodorant, 79p.
  22. Something old that you don't want anymore - free.
  23. Subscription to countless online journals, newspapers, newsgroups and advertising agencies - between free and some money.
  24. Boots Breath Freshener - $1.69.
  25. Subscription to a dating agency - $159.

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