4 December 2006
Fascinating Festive Fact #4: One in five sandwiches sold in Pret-a-manger during December has a Christmas-themed filling
Meg says:
Have you noticed this thing recently, where towards the middle of November, ready-made sandwich shops, supermarkets and delicatessens suddenly start selling bread wrapped around things which are more usually seen on a Christmas dinner table?
Some fillings I've spotted recently:
- Turkey, brie and cranberry
- Turkey, stuffing and cranberry
- Mature cheddar cheese and cranberry
- Turkey, bacon and stuffing
- Stuffing and applesauce
- Turkey and roasted vegetable
Some fillings I haven't seen (yet):
- Sprouts and gravy
- Dry Roasted Peanut, parsnip and salad
- Pease pudding and stuffing
- Burnt carrots, dry turkey and Bisto
- Christmas Pudding and Roasted Spud
- Cracker and paper hat with brie
I'm fascinated by the number of festive-themed products making their way onto the shelves at this time of year, though.
I get the sandwich fillings, to an extent - I mean, who doesn't want a taste of things to come, eh? - and I can even see where the pot pourri, candles and room fragrance might come in handy, if you want your house to smell like a three king.
But even I have to draw the line at certain things.
What is the thought process, I want to know? Do Sainsbury's executives spend days huddled in a boardroom brainstorming the next product line to get the old spice treatement?
"OK, everyone, we've been here for 72 hours now, and we've been through pretty much all of the aisles, now. Now George, your turn. What's your division again?"
"Household cleaning & paper products, sir"
"Oh. Right. Well, in for a penny, as they say. Come on, George, cough up: What have you got for us?"
"OK, I think it's contraversial, but it could be a big seller, especially among the ABC1s - mince-pie-printed rubber-gloves"
"Rubbish. What else?"
"Er. OK...how about nappies shaped like a christmas pudding, with a giant holly leaf covering the satefy pin?"
"You know, it's not bad...."
"We could call it 'Little Pricks'..."
"Not sure our suppliers can run them up in time for this year, though. What else?"
"Well, I was thinking about maybe trialling some frankinsence & myrhh fabric softener in a metallic-sheen bottle on the lower shelves - you know, 'give the gift of soft towels' and all that"
"Hmm. I can see that catching on. What does Myrrh smell like, anyway? Anyone know?"
"No, sir"
"Nope"
"No idea, I'm afraid"
"Well, maybe not. Anything else, George?"
"There is one last thing....it's a bit dumb, though...."
"Go on...?"
"Well, I'm not sure if I should...it's such a stupid concept...."
"Listen, George, the best thing we've seen so far is Kirsty's plans for a Shepherd's Pie with crimped edges and a spring of holly stamped in the middle of the mash. I asked you people to come up with some way to Christmas-i-fy the product range for Q4, and so far I've been nothing but dissapointed. Believe me, anything you come up with now, George, can't possibly be more stupid than Mike's idea to reprint the labels on the reduced salt baked beans with the words from In the Bleak Midwinter...."
"OK. Well....Mulberry Spice Bleach. You know, for toilets. So they'll smell all Christmassy and stuff"
"Go and pack up your desk. You're fired."
« 0603 | Main | 0605 »