15 December 2006
Fascinating Festive Fact #15: Christmas is not the holidays
People who call Christmas "the holidays" annoy British people. Holidays in the UK are things that you go on with passports and loved ones.
"Are you going home for the holidays?"
No, I go home from the holidays.
If I'm going on holiday, I'm leaving home, unless I have mistakenly booked two weeks in my lounge, in which case I really need a holiday.
Holidays is a lazy term that covers Hanukkah and Christmas and you're sending out a blanket greeting. "Happy Holidays, whatever you are." Or it's an impersonal greeting for someone who you're not too fussed what they believe in, in which case why would you issue a greeting anyway?
Next time someone asks me what I'm doing for the holidays, I will ask them to be more specific about the holiday in question, and then get all offended, but leave them in the dark. "Oh, I'm Jewish (or Christian)? What, because I look Jewish (or Christian) to you. And what do Jewish (or Christian) people look like? I could be Christian (or Jewish) for all you know." Then I'll storm off.
What am I doing for my holidays? Eating the food, opening the present and watching the TV.
Christmas is Christmas. Christmas ain't something else.